Authorities: Grilled Feast is Meaty, Corny

EASTON | A mob of hungry neighbors attacked a master griller, knocking him over only to get to his meat, officials said.

The mob followed the smell of roasting meat that was wafting through the South Side neighborhood and stole the meat off the grate using a set of tongs they pried from the griller’s hands, officials said.

The griller was taken to an area hospital for medical treatment and officials have not yet released his name.

Master chefs Mike and Michelle created this tantilizing dish for a truly grilled meal.

This is an artists conception of what the meal looked like, officials said.

Holy crap. Writing like that is frickin’ hard work. Now I know why they pay me the big bucks day in and day out to do that for the newspaper. I’m right, I do need a raise.

But really that hand crafted description of our barbecue wasn’t that far off. The neighbor-lady in the house behind us was workin’ in the yard and when I went outside to check on my meat. She was all “Is that you making that smell?”

My response: “Um, you’re going to have to be more specific.”

I quickly realized that she must be talking about the grill and confirmed her inquiry. I was not even a little bit ashamed to proclaim, “YES! THAT IS ME MAKING THAT SMELL!”

The piece of meat we used was actually kind of a cheap cut. It was a 5-pound chuck roast I think. We went to work on it.

Yes, indeed. It was a chuck roast.

Yes, indeed. It was a chuck roast.

The first thing we did was trim away all the fat that we could from the outside of the meat. You’ll need a sharp knife for this. If you can’t do it no biggie.

Next we took the dimpled side of a meat mallet and pounded the meat on both sides. Not too much, one whack in each spot will be fine.

Next is the good part. Before you put on the salt and rub, you want to take a knife and cut a diagonal checkerboard in the meat on both sides. Cut slighty, you just want to score the meat. This will help the salt penetrate the meat and tenderize it.

Score it gently. Then rub it with salt and whatever spice-blend you so choose.

Score it gently. Then rub it with salt and whatever spice-blend you so choose.

Here’s the spice rub we used courtesy of Weber’s Real Grilling:

  • 4 tspSea salt
  • 1 tsp Chile powder
  • 1 tsp Onion flakes
  • 2 tsp garlic powder
  • 1 tsp Paprika
  • 1 tsp Oregano
  • 1 tsp Cumin
  • 1 tsp Black pepper
  • 1/2 tsp Cinnamon
Make enough to lightly cover your meat thoroughly. Rub it in well.

Make enough to lightly cover your meat thoroughly. Rub it in well.

Since we’re not always that into measurements, use as much of whatever you like. Use the measurements as a guideline. We went a little heavier on the cumin, because that’s our favorite.

Now for the 5-pound roast, we used a cascading fire. Grilling each side on direct high heat for 6 minutes total to sear it. Then we moved it over to medium-low heat for 20 minutes each side. Again these are just guidelines. Yours may not be done by this time. Or it could be too done.

Just keep an eye on it.

Coming up:

On Wednesday, we’ll have a look at grilling corn. Yes, GRILLING corn, NOT steaming it in the husk. The former is our preferred method.

On Friday, Feaston will present the finishing touches to your grilled meal. Including: a new homemade barbecue sauce and a Parmesan-butter-spice blend to douse your corn.

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1 Comment

Filed under Dinner

One response to “Authorities: Grilled Feast is Meaty, Corny

  1. But – what happened to the griller?! Did he survive? Come on – finish the damn story already…

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